Baby Clothes and Driving...
Baby clothes. Some are really cute. Others are just God awful. Once they know it’s a boy it’s blue. Girl it’s pink. Don’t like it? Too bad. You’ll get pink and blue. We gave/give green. Neutral. We’re men. We’re gay. Maybe that’s the difference.
There were many things I hated about baby clothes. Mothers loved all of them. I hated them. Onezies. Hated them. Who wanted to fuss with snaps the size of pin heads at 2am? Not this gay dad. Cloth diapers? Loved them for spit ups. Not for bottoms. Diaper genie? Loved her. Then. Not now. Too stinky. Dr. Brown’s Bottles? Loved them. Swing? Loved it. Bouncy seat? Loved it. Wish they made them for adults. Well, when David drives I kind of feel like I’m in one. Don’t tell him. He gets mad when I pick on his driving. Jack rabbit starts. Slamming on brakes. Head goes back and forth. Gay bobble headed doll. 40 years old though. Even Lilly has barfed when he’s driven before. Don’t tell him. I told him it had happened to me too. Liar.
I went through Lilly’s closet the other day. Weeding out. Cleaning up. She’s 18 months. Unreal. I wouldn’t want to wear some of her clothes if I were a corpse. I would wake from the dead. Find you. Hurt you for it. Nasty. Just nasty. Some of them.
My sister sent me bags of clothes. Ungrateful? Yep. Most were wooly mammoth things that you would wear if you lived in the great arctic north. Not fit for a baby. I said as I shook my head. I’ll give them to good will. She’ll never know. Until David spills the beans someday at a family picnic and I must glare at him. Then scream when we get into the car. Well. Sometimes I do both. Glare. Scream later. Or Glare and scream then. Then scream later. Whichever works.
The colors of some kids’ clothes are terrible. I must say. Plaids and polka-dots? Together? With bows? Nasty. People get paid to design this stuff right? I never tried LSD, Crack, smack, wack, coke, whatever. But. If I had. I would have designed some of these clothes and chosen the colors. Nasty. Nasty stuff some of them.
There were many things I hated about baby clothes. Mothers loved all of them. I hated them. Onezies. Hated them. Who wanted to fuss with snaps the size of pin heads at 2am? Not this gay dad. Cloth diapers? Loved them for spit ups. Not for bottoms. Diaper genie? Loved her. Then. Not now. Too stinky. Dr. Brown’s Bottles? Loved them. Swing? Loved it. Bouncy seat? Loved it. Wish they made them for adults. Well, when David drives I kind of feel like I’m in one. Don’t tell him. He gets mad when I pick on his driving. Jack rabbit starts. Slamming on brakes. Head goes back and forth. Gay bobble headed doll. 40 years old though. Even Lilly has barfed when he’s driven before. Don’t tell him. I told him it had happened to me too. Liar.
I went through Lilly’s closet the other day. Weeding out. Cleaning up. She’s 18 months. Unreal. I wouldn’t want to wear some of her clothes if I were a corpse. I would wake from the dead. Find you. Hurt you for it. Nasty. Just nasty. Some of them.
My sister sent me bags of clothes. Ungrateful? Yep. Most were wooly mammoth things that you would wear if you lived in the great arctic north. Not fit for a baby. I said as I shook my head. I’ll give them to good will. She’ll never know. Until David spills the beans someday at a family picnic and I must glare at him. Then scream when we get into the car. Well. Sometimes I do both. Glare. Scream later. Or Glare and scream then. Then scream later. Whichever works.
The colors of some kids’ clothes are terrible. I must say. Plaids and polka-dots? Together? With bows? Nasty. People get paid to design this stuff right? I never tried LSD, Crack, smack, wack, coke, whatever. But. If I had. I would have designed some of these clothes and chosen the colors. Nasty. Nasty stuff some of them.
posted by Mike at 7:07 AM
1 Comments:
hehe ... i just went through this not too long ago with the grandson .... i was very picky too ...
i have seen some really really cute girls stuff ... and another good " neutral " color is yellow.
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