Done...Next!
I just did the unthinkable. I took care of myself. Sounds stupid. Sounds rather simple. But it was harder than hell.
Damn it feels pretty good.
I dropped a summer class. There I said it. I did it.
The mind chatter was constant. But underneath the guilt, the shame, the embarrassment, the fear, the little kid, the big kid, the pride, the striving for perfection was this little tiny squeaky voice telling me to take care of myself. You’re taking on too much. It said. You’re trying to do too much. It said. Take care of yourself first. Then. Them. The answer is simple. Drop a class. What’s the rush? Life? Death? No. Then what’s the rush? Me. Myself. I. That's all.
The phone call was made. No yelling. No fighting. No guilt. Just. Sure. Send us a note to confirm and what’s done is done. Have a great summer. School could have cared less. No sweat. What? No shame? No asking me why? How could I? What am I doing? I’m fucking up royally? Nope. None.
Just peace. Peace of mind.
Now on to Mother’s day.
Raven said if she had a mom she would drive four hours to see her. It hit home. Big time. Nothing is more important than family. Family first. Houses second. We see a house or two. We see Mom. Mom won't be here forever. I thank God she is now. I do. I also thank Raven. You spoke. I listened. Isn’t that amazing. From one blogger to another. One friend to another. Thank you. Two very simple words. But deeply heartfelt.
Damn it feels pretty good.
I dropped a summer class. There I said it. I did it.
The mind chatter was constant. But underneath the guilt, the shame, the embarrassment, the fear, the little kid, the big kid, the pride, the striving for perfection was this little tiny squeaky voice telling me to take care of myself. You’re taking on too much. It said. You’re trying to do too much. It said. Take care of yourself first. Then. Them. The answer is simple. Drop a class. What’s the rush? Life? Death? No. Then what’s the rush? Me. Myself. I. That's all.
The phone call was made. No yelling. No fighting. No guilt. Just. Sure. Send us a note to confirm and what’s done is done. Have a great summer. School could have cared less. No sweat. What? No shame? No asking me why? How could I? What am I doing? I’m fucking up royally? Nope. None.
Just peace. Peace of mind.
Now on to Mother’s day.
Raven said if she had a mom she would drive four hours to see her. It hit home. Big time. Nothing is more important than family. Family first. Houses second. We see a house or two. We see Mom. Mom won't be here forever. I thank God she is now. I do. I also thank Raven. You spoke. I listened. Isn’t that amazing. From one blogger to another. One friend to another. Thank you. Two very simple words. But deeply heartfelt.
posted by Mike at 12:30 PM
1 Comments:
Mike .. good for you! i'm so very glad to hear that you decided to take care of YOU!! i know it's hard, huh? i have a hell of a time doing that as well. and you're right. what is the rush? the class will be there ... and then you can have more time to spend with Lilly this summer ... she should be backyard pool ready .. how fun!!
tell the people around you that you love .. that you love them every day. we are not guaranteed tomorrow .. let alone 5 mintues. and you know what? i was telling some friends at work today about you, David and Lilly .. and how phenomenal this blogger world is ... you can connect with people .. CARE about people .. without even meeting. anything i can do for you .. i'm here. and i have four words for you. You're Welcome. and Thank You. (okay so technically that's 6 .. but you knew what i meant *wink*)
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