House shopping...or not.
We looked at four houses last week. Having just sold ours and gone through over 25 showings I know the horror of buying/selling all too well.
One of the houses we looked at was a 4,000 sq. ft. contemporary. I think the fact sheet said that it was built in the late 1980s. It listed for $500,000.00. All I kept thinking while walking around it was Bette Davis sitting in a chair smoking a cigarette saying, “What a dump.” Although I would have thrown in an expletive. Maybe two. Not quite a dump as it just needs a lot of cosmetics (new carpets, floors, updated kitchen, etc…). But still.
I’m not sure what disorder the owner had. But she had one. Big time. What’s it called? I have to know. Hoarder? Maybe. Oy.
There were bags, and bags, and bags, and bags, and bags of clothes. Everywhere. In every room. Stacked 10 high in some rooms. I kid you not. The master bedroom was the worst. Black garbage bags stacked up against one wall so high they nearly touched the skylight. Closets so overstuffed with clothes they were literally bursting at their seams. I thought she might have been packing - getting ready for the move. No. She made that perfectly clear. "the house always looks like this" the daugther who is an "artist" said as she rolled out of bed so we could see her bedroom.
I tried to peak at a label and see if they were designer or not. Couldn’t see. Didn’t dare open the door any wider than it was in fear we would lose Lilly forever. Our realtor said he thinks it’s a “nasty” divorce situation. I don’t blame hubby one bit.
We also toured a 1,700 sq. foot ranch built in the 1970s. 3 Bedrooms, 2 ½ baths, new kitchen, hard wood floors, new patio. Very nice. Asking price of $430,000.00 Very nice. Except the floor was buckling in the master bedroom and there was no access to the basement from the main house – you had to enter via the garage and take several small tunnels – yes tunnels – to get there. Not. Scary.
The last home was listed for $550,000.00 4 bedrooms, 3 baths, brand spanking new with gleaming hardwood floors. The issue? There were many. First the kitchen was literally from home depot. Not the nice ones either. No grass, no driveway, no trees on the property and it sat on ¼ of an acre surrounded by other homes. If I stood in the kitchen I could see into the bathroom of the home right next to ours. Not. No thanks.
3 of the home owners followed us and our gay realtor around. Wow was that aggravating. I couldn’t make any fun remarks with the owner two feet away. At one point I tried but sure enough she heard me and came running over to explain that they were getting rid of the “distressed” sofa once they moved. Distressed? Um, hells no. It’s just older than dirt. Dump it. Unsolicited advice from a stressed out gay guy looking for a home with a partner and 18 mo. old daugther in tow: If you live in an estate that has some form of notoriety fine. Then be a docent and gimme a tour. If you’re a house wife with an average home for sale in an overpriced NYC suburb take a walk while you’re realtor does the work. Thanks.
Welcome to the NYC suburbs folks.
One of the houses we looked at was a 4,000 sq. ft. contemporary. I think the fact sheet said that it was built in the late 1980s. It listed for $500,000.00. All I kept thinking while walking around it was Bette Davis sitting in a chair smoking a cigarette saying, “What a dump.” Although I would have thrown in an expletive. Maybe two. Not quite a dump as it just needs a lot of cosmetics (new carpets, floors, updated kitchen, etc…). But still.
I’m not sure what disorder the owner had. But she had one. Big time. What’s it called? I have to know. Hoarder? Maybe. Oy.
There were bags, and bags, and bags, and bags, and bags of clothes. Everywhere. In every room. Stacked 10 high in some rooms. I kid you not. The master bedroom was the worst. Black garbage bags stacked up against one wall so high they nearly touched the skylight. Closets so overstuffed with clothes they were literally bursting at their seams. I thought she might have been packing - getting ready for the move. No. She made that perfectly clear. "the house always looks like this" the daugther who is an "artist" said as she rolled out of bed so we could see her bedroom.
I tried to peak at a label and see if they were designer or not. Couldn’t see. Didn’t dare open the door any wider than it was in fear we would lose Lilly forever. Our realtor said he thinks it’s a “nasty” divorce situation. I don’t blame hubby one bit.
We also toured a 1,700 sq. foot ranch built in the 1970s. 3 Bedrooms, 2 ½ baths, new kitchen, hard wood floors, new patio. Very nice. Asking price of $430,000.00 Very nice. Except the floor was buckling in the master bedroom and there was no access to the basement from the main house – you had to enter via the garage and take several small tunnels – yes tunnels – to get there. Not. Scary.
The last home was listed for $550,000.00 4 bedrooms, 3 baths, brand spanking new with gleaming hardwood floors. The issue? There were many. First the kitchen was literally from home depot. Not the nice ones either. No grass, no driveway, no trees on the property and it sat on ¼ of an acre surrounded by other homes. If I stood in the kitchen I could see into the bathroom of the home right next to ours. Not. No thanks.
3 of the home owners followed us and our gay realtor around. Wow was that aggravating. I couldn’t make any fun remarks with the owner two feet away. At one point I tried but sure enough she heard me and came running over to explain that they were getting rid of the “distressed” sofa once they moved. Distressed? Um, hells no. It’s just older than dirt. Dump it. Unsolicited advice from a stressed out gay guy looking for a home with a partner and 18 mo. old daugther in tow: If you live in an estate that has some form of notoriety fine. Then be a docent and gimme a tour. If you’re a house wife with an average home for sale in an overpriced NYC suburb take a walk while you’re realtor does the work. Thanks.
Welcome to the NYC suburbs folks.
posted by Mike at 7:25 AM
2 Comments:
ok .. i guess i'm very naive .. but how in the world can a house that is a "dump" and "needs alot of updates .. be on the market for $500,000????? we have very few houses here for that price .... 4,000 sq feet is a HUGE house though ...
OCD maybe?
don't like the scary basement thing either. ew.
good luck with your house search.
It's a nyc suburb thing Raven. It's also NUTS! lol Houses go on the market around here for one day and there are 2 offers made - usually above the asking price. It's the worst time to be buying but the best time to be selling.
We're looking at more this weekend!
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